It's a bastard, this thing that has her chucking up whole feeds and then screaming as though she's just lost her stomach lining as well (which is probably exactly how it feels).
Yesterday's classy visit to the paediatrician concluded with a possible diagnosis of pyloric stentosis and a referral for an ultrasound. So after screaming through two cold-handed examinations and then peeing on her suit (the only day I have EVER left the house without a spare set of clothes for her) we made a quick trip to our local Savers (she wore a couple of blankets over her mercifully dry singlet and new nappy) to buy a replacement $0.99 wondersuit for Audrey... then it was off to fight for a parking space at our local hospital.
Quick digression: at my standard prenatal check (37wks 5 days) the need for an ultrasound was declared with the ominous words, "You're measuring very small." Two days and two ultrasounds later I was being induced into labor, up there in the all-time top hmmm... ONE Most Unpleasant Experiences of My Life. Hence my lack of "Oh, GOODY!"
However, sitting and waiting for the ultrasound tech to wave us through with a growing sense of doom, I realised even the worst-case scenario was not, actually, all that godawful. Like another mom-and-baby feeding/stabbing iPhone combo (in my defence, she was sleeping), who'd clearly been here before and would clearly be here again, and who'd probably come to regard a waiting room as their second home. I realise, of course, that at five weeks old I can hardly state that we will never be that family, but I'm so grateful we're not starting out that way. (As the second ultrasound showed,) She doesn't need surgery. This is not life-threatening. It may distress me more than it hurts her - seeing a young baby squalling in pain and confusion and general Oh god make it stop is a horrible thing - but it's reflux.
Not even the really bad kind (as far as we can tell, and let's all hope it stays that way). So far 1mL of Mylanta seems to take the edge off and break up the wind, and suddenly our baby can sleep peacefully again. I may need something stronger.